It's not often that something ordinary strikes me as something I should get a piece of paper and write down, but it happened last night. Here's what I wrote:
Each night, after his bath and I feed him and we snuggle for a minute, I smother Keenan's cheeks in kisses. It's hard to stop, I always want to give him just one more. Then I lay him in his crib.
Even though I'm usually relieved at the thought of a break from watching him every minute, I know I'll miss him until I see him in the morning, and I'm always a little sad to let go.
Sometimes he falls asleep right away, with his bunny's ears clutched in his fist, and other times he jabbers sweet little baby noises for a while before drifting off.
Most nights, whether it's been half an hour or two hours since I put him down, I go in and check on him before I go to bed. (Even though I have a baby monitor by my bed, and I usually wake just to listen to it several times a night, I still need to just Know that he's okay before I can sleep). After turning off the computer or brushing my teeth, I tiptoe down the hall, push open his door and wait. Sometimes there's a little stirring sound from the crib, but when it's all quiet, I move in and nudge the door closed behind me, so no light comes in. Then I walk over and feel my way for the crib bars. I put my hand down and reach out to figure out which end of the crib he's at. I find his soft hair or a warm, chubby leg. Then I put my hand on his tummy or his back and just enjoy, for a few seconds, the feel of his little breaths, in and out, in and out...
At this point, no matter how the previous 12 hours with him have gone, I only ever feel complete adoration for the little "bum in the air" baby boy in that crib. My heart swells with thankfulness to a God who has placed such a precious gift into my life.
Then I tiptoe back out.
The perfect ending to any day.